The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
