You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
