did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
