Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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