I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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