I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
