hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
