Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the liver wants what the liver wants
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
