so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They took my balls.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
