my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
