her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
