I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
