I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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