I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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