Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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