I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
