you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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