Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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