If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
