Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just found a bag of teeth...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
