I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
