When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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