Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
