They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
