Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
