They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
