It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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