You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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