Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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