Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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