I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
