I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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