My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
