Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
