can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
