ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
