We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
