Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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