OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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