dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I AM VODKA MAN
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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