I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
