She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
