party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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