im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
