Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
