Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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