Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
