worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
