Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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