so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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