Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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