And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
