We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize