I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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