I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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