i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm getting married
To pizza
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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