I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
