Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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