Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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