Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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