if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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