so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
