I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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