fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
