and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
