That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
