I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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