just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
